Firstly, I wanted to share a little history about me and why this is so important to me. I’ve been diagnosed with depression (treatment-resistant) and anxiety for the past 5 years; however, I believe it’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life and has probably progressively been getting worse, or at least more detrimental to my life. This perhaps manifested itself first in severely negative self-image and body issues, and thoughts around suicide at a young age. As I got older, this progressively became worse often spending all non-school hours in bed and losing vast amounts of weight at various stages of teenagehood.

Finally, after high-school, these symptoms seemed to settle down for a couple of years. However, they came back with a vengeance around 20 years old and, in part, thanks to reasonably poor support from the public health system, I had my first suicide attempt. 400mgs of diazepam later, and anything else I could get my hands on, I found myself in a psychiatric hospital for a few weeks. Once out, I was connected with an excellent public health service which provided counselling and psychiatry and very hands-on support. I had some good and bad times over that period, but around 18months later I was back in a hospital through an exsanguination suicide attempt.

The next two and half years were littered with periods of 3-6month depressive cycles and many close hospitalisations. However, thanks to some changes in my environment and relationships, I was able to stay out of the hospital until mid-2018. After about 9 months of substantial depression, I tried overdosing again, this time on quetiapine and lithium and was probably the most serious, ending up in the ICU for a few days and then discharged into a psychiatric ward for a few weeks again. Since then I’ve cycled through at least 10 medications plus rTMS but have never really been able to get myself out this depressive episode, which has now been going on for over 18 months and has led to another two hospital stay’s, one as a preemptive protective measure and one for a bought of ECT.

Basically, I want to mention all this so those reading know I understand what you might be going through and I’m just as interested to find the solutions. That’s why I’ve put this blog together, so I can share my research and what I plan on incorporating my routine.

The blog itself is going to focus on the many different mental health issues; depression, anxiety, PTSD, anhedonia, BPD etc. and all the aspects that affect these; diet, exercise, talk therapy, medications etc. I aim to make this blog as fact-based and endeavour to do as much research as possible before posting anything. Nothing will be quickly produced or based on shotty evidence. Finally, I hope to make this information easy to digest and actionable.

Hopefully, by sharing my research, I can not only help myself but help someone reading this too 🙂

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